


Bart Allen Took 40 Cupcakes (And That's Terrible Remix)

by amathela



Category: DCU (Comics), Teen Titans (Comics)
Genre: Ensemble Cast, Gen, Monster of the Week, Mythology References, School Festivals, Snakes, Team
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-28
Updated: 2015-06-28
Packaged: 2018-04-06 14:48:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4225968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amathela/pseuds/amathela
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>That's as many as four tens.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bart Allen Took 40 Cupcakes (And That's Terrible Remix)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Teaotter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Teaotter/gifts).
  * Inspired by [The wrongness of looting](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26779) by [Teaotter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Teaotter/pseuds/Teaotter). 



> Set during Teen Titans vol. 3, just after Damian leaves the team and Red Robin returns.

"Another school?" Bart asks, and Rose shrugs, thinks of Damian. School's not so bad. Provided she, y'know, doesn't actually have to go there or anything.

"Beats robots," Gar says.

Rose disagrees. At least with robots, she's allowed to knock their heads off.

"We're not here to fight," Cassie says. "At least, not the students. We're here to clear this thing out as quickly as possible before the school fair tonight, so keep alert."

She glances at Robin - sorry, _Red_ Robin - then, as if remembering he's supposed to be the leader. He nods, taking over.

"That's right," he says. "Remember, be careful where you look. If what we're after is really a basilisk ..."

There's no point in finishing the sentence, Rose supposes. No 'if,' either. One person's already been turned to stone, and there are reports of a snake running loose; she hadn't needed Cassie to piece that one together for her.

"The basilisk is supposed to be small," Cassie says, and Rose wonders if she knows she keeps taking over by accident. "So it may be less of a threat, but it also might be harder to spot. Try to use mirrors to look around - its reflection won't harm you."

Right, Rose thinks. Because she brings a mirror with her wherever she goes.

"We'll split up," Tim says. "Beast Boy and Kid Flash, check the classrooms. Wonder Girl, Superboy, and Ravager, the gym. Raven and I will check the main building."

"I can go faster on my own," Bart protests.

"And you'll go safer with Beast Boy," Tim says. "Everyone move out."

Rose never thought she'd be saying this, but she kinda misses Cassie being in charge. Especially once they split up. She doesn't know if Tim has noticed the tension between Wonder Girl and Superboy - it's hard to miss, but those Batman types can be pretty dense when it comes to feelings - but putting them in a team together was probably not the best call he could have made.

Putting them in a team with Rose was, in her opinion, even worse.

"We should go -" Cassie starts, at the same time as Kon says "I think -"

They both look away, and Rose waits for the agonisingly long awkward silence to pass. It’s almost enough for her to want to start a conversation herself. Finally, Kon says, "You’re the leader."

_Were the leader,_ Rose thinks. But Cassie nods, squaring her shoulders. "We’ll go straight across the quad. Less chance for something to hide."

And more room to fight.. Sounds like a plan to Rose.

Cassie starts out in front, and Rose drops behind, one hand on her sword. Turning to stone she could deal with, but no way is she going to spend eternity as a statue next to these two. Kon drops back behind her - less to watch their back, she suspects, and more to put as much distance as possible between him and Cassie - and Rose doesn’t bother to hide her smirk.

"Trouble in paradise?" she pushes, because she can. Kon frowns, but he doesn’t move away. "Don’t worry," she says. "I don’t mind watching your back."

She could swear she can see him flush, and she rolls her eyes; no way he’s as innocent as his occasional farm boy schtick would suggest. Doesn't mean she doesn't still have the urge to corrupt him.

She stops, though, when Cassie does, pulling her sword free of its scabbard. It glints in the afternoon sunlight, and Rose grins; she might not have a mirror handy, but she’ll be damned if she doesn’t polish her sword every night.

"Up ahead," Cassie says. "I thought I saw -"

That’s all she manages to get out, but by then, she doesn’t need to finish the sentence. The basilisk is surprisingly fast - one second it's a flash at the edge of her vision, and the next it's right in front of them, rearing up so close Rose can barely see past it.

"I thought you said it was supposed to be small!" she yells at Cassie.

"That's what all the myths say," Cassie replies. Right, myths. Cassie might be the daughter of Zeus or whatever, but Rose will stick to what's right in front of her, thank you. And what's right in front of her right now is a giant freaking snake.

"Remember," Cassie calls out, "don't look it in the eyes."

Not a problem. It's not like Rose has two eyes to look it in, at any rate. She glances down at her sword, angling it so she can see the basilisk. It's mouth is open, fangs dripping venom, and Rose tightens her grip. Game on.

The basilisk darts forward, towards Kon, and he jumps straight up, landing on its back. Not a bad tactic, she supposes. Cassie's already in the air, and Rose rushes forward, keeping her face down as she thrusts her sword into the basilisk's hide as hard as she can.

It hisses and whips towards her as she pulls back her sword, now murky with basilisk blood. So much for using it as a mirror, then. She feels the rush of air and rolls out of the way barely in time, a sliver of her boot heel slicing neatly off behind her as the basilisk bites down.

"I got it," she yells. "But I don't think I hurt it."

Hurt it, no. Pissed it off, definitely.

The basilisk rears again, and she hears a thud as either Kon or Cassie - or both, probably - land a solid hit. Rose grimaces, wiping the excess fluid from her blade. It works - kind of - but by the time she's able to see in it again, she can hear a high, shrill sound from the other end of the school, and the basilisk is gone, slithering off across the grass.

"Didn't know it responded to commands," she mutters dryly, tamping down her disappointment. Her sword might not have hurt the basilisk much, but it did pierce its hide, and that means she _can_ hurt it.

"What now?" Kon asks, not quite looking at Cassie.

She shrugs. "We continue the plan. Let's get to the gym."

-

Compared to the deserted, basilisk-infested quad, the gym is ... eerily festive. There are colourful streamers strewn up along the ceiling, party hats and balloons and cupcakes decorated with the school's freaking crest set up in a small room behind the stage. Maybe she was wrong before, Rose thinks. This is completely terrible.

"Attention, students," comes a voice over the loudspeaker. Kid Flash. Of course he's already in the wrong place; she imagines he probably finished triple-checking the classrooms before she, Kon and Cassie even started across the quad. "Somebody seems to have violated our pet-free policy at this school. Oh, wait, that's just Beast Boy."

Great, because joking around is exactly what they should be doing right now.

"Titans," comes another voice; this time, it belongs to Red Robin. "The lights seem to be distracting the basilisk. We can't seem to get it to stay in one place."

That explains its sudden departure, she supposes.

"We're going to cut the lights," he says. "See where it surfaces and take it down for good."

Well, that part of the plan, at least, Rose is totally on board with.

"Check this out," Kon says, his voice coming faintly from the back room. "I guess somebody's -"

And that's when the lights go out. Rose hadn't honestly expected it to make much of a difference - it's still daytime outside - but there aren't any windows in the gym aside from the open double doors, and it's surprisingly dark without the overhead fluorescents. She glances around for Kon and Cassie, but instead of their breathing, she hears a faint click, and then a bang.

Another, louder.

"Hey," Kon yells, but his voice is muffled. "Rose, let us out of here."

"You can't get out of a room by yourself?" she mutters, but ducks behind the stage anyway. The door is the same as those leading outside, metal, with a handle on the outside and one of those push bars behind it. She tugs on it, and ... nothing.

"It's locked," she says flatly. If he's trying to mess with her, she's really not in the mood for it. "Open it from the inside."

There's a pause, and then, "I can't."

"You can't open a door?"

"He broke the door," Cassie clarifies. Oh, good, they're locked in a dark room together. Rose has never been so glad to be on the other side of a locked door in her life. "I think everything automatically locked down when Red Robin killed the power."

Right, that makes sense. Because since when has a plan ever gone exactly to plan?

"How about the gym doors?" Cassie asks. "Did they lock, too?"

Rose glances over. At first she's about to say yes, since the doorway is mostly dark, but then she realises that, nope, the doors are perfectly fine.

There's just a massive, angry basilisk blocking them.

"Not exactly," she says, drawing her sword. She tries angling to catch the basilisk's reflection, but it's not much use without the lights on. At the same time, she supposes, it's not like she can see the basilisk very well even if she looks straight at it, so - that's a good thing?

So, she’ll do this blind. It’s not like it’s the first time.

Rose closes her eye, and waits until she can hear the hiss of the basilisk, the dry rustle as it shifts slightly, feel the wind blowing past it. Then she charges, not holding back, using the first strike to parry the attack she knows is coming, the second to thrust upwards at what she’s hoping is the basilisk’s sensitive underside. She meets resistance and pushes past it, and is rewarded with an inhuman shriek that lets her know she hit her target.

"Ravager!" Cassie calls from behind the door. There’s genuine concern in her voice, and Rose half-turns towards it, losing enough focus that when the basilisk moves again, swatting at her with its tail, it hits her quarely in her midsection, winding her and knocking her to the floor. She expects it to attack again while she’s down, but instead she can hear it retreat, rustling sounds growing fainter until she can’t hear it at all.

Rose tentatively opens her eye. She’s alone.

At least, until Superboy comes busting through the gym wall.

"Are you okay?" he asks. It’s pretty funny, really; he’s the one covered in dust and debris, looking like he just escaped a disaster zone.

She takes a deep breath. Nothing’s broken. "Fine," she says. "I hurt it, but it’s getting away."

"Good work," Cassie says, stepping through the Superboy-shapes hole in the wall. Unlike Kon, she doesn’t look like she even has a hair out of place. "You two go after it. I’ll get Red Robin and the others."

It isn't hard, even in the rapidly dwindling afternoon light, to see which way the basilisk went. The entire school is still dark, could be deserted except for the bad jokes coming over the loudspeaker, but the half-set up fair around the back is still partly lit up, and deep tracks along the grass lead Rose and Kon straight there. It looks like a nightmare even without the giant snake monster, all clowns and stuffed animals and shooting games she could beat with her good eye closed.

"This looks fun," Kon says, because of course. "Want to go on a ride afterwards?"

"This isn't fun enough for you?" she asks, only partly joking. It sure as hell beats -

A mirror maze.

"You don't think ..." she asks Kon, nodding towards the maze, but she already knows the answer. If nothing else, it's the only attraction with smashed glass all over the entrance.

"I think," he says, and she nods. Well, Wonder Girl did say to use mirrors.

Se goes in first, trying to keep her eyes trained in front of her. She can see why it's called a maze; she's used to her depth perception being less than stellar, but the maze is in full 3D, stretching our around her until she has to close her eye for a minute just to get her bearings.

"Are you okay?" Kon asks, hesitantly touching her shoulder. She almost snaps at him that she's not going to bite, except, well, she might, so there's that.

"Fine," she says.

"I can smash them," he offers, and glances around. "Well, the ones that aren't smashed already."

"No," she says. She's pretty sure the broken glass is only making the illusion worse. "Leave them. They'll come in handy when we have to fight."

One way or another, she's finishing this here. And never, ever setting foot on a high school campus again.

Rose keeps her eyes on the floor for now, following the trail of broken mirrors as best as she can. Once or twice she makes a wrong turn and tries to shrug it off, which at least is less embarrassing than when Superboy rushes straight at a mirrored wall and bounces off, almost knocking her down in the process.

"Smooth," she says. "Do this often?"

"Strangely, I don't really get a lot of time for school fairs," he says. She'd tease him more, but there's an edge in his voice underneath the flippant tone that tells her it's probably best not to. She guesses she's not the only one who can't decide if she wants a normal life.

"Maybe I'll win you a teddy bear afterwards," she says instead, and regrets it when it comes out way too much like she's actually asking him on a date.

"To remind me how soft and cuddly you are?" he asks, and she turns around to stick out her tongue at him.

And instantly draws her sword.

She rushes forward, but maybe her awareness isn't any better than Kon's, because the tip of her sword goes straight into a mirror, shattering it. The image of the basilisk fractures into a dozen tiny pieces, and she spins around, trying to locate it.

Okay, now she _really_ hates this freaking maze.

She moves forward again, more carefully this time, making sure she keeps her eyes on the parts she knows are mirrors. Kon takes the opposite approach, smashing through everything in front of him, and Rose can't help the pang of annoyance she feels when it actually works, and she hears his fists connect with hardened flesh instead of glass.

"Over here!" he yells, and she follows his voice, trusting every sense except her vision. She smells it first, the fetid stench of an old, untreated wound, except it's been less than an hour since she first stabbed the basilisk. Maybe having poison for blood or whatever goes both ways.

At least it tells her where to aim - where the rotten smell is the strongest - and she does so, lunging forward with her sword, putting all her strength behind it. This time she doesn't stab cleanly in and out, but drags her blade down like she's filleting a fish; it doesn't go far, but when she pulls her sword out this time, there's a long, jagged hole in the basilisk's hide. It hisses angrily, whipping towards her, and Rose stays her ground, nodding past it to Kon. Just as it's about to sink its teeth into her neck, he picks it up by the tail, slamming it hard against the broken mirrors. It falls limply, straining to rise, and Rose strides forward, eyes on the mirror in front of her, and stabs her sword down between its eyes.

She pulls her sword free, and almost immediately the basilisk shimmers, flesh turning to stone, blood sizzling and evaporating from the ground. And then it's just her and Kon in the middle of what used to be a mirror maze, a giant snake statue coiled loosely around them.

"I don't know about you," Kon says, "but I assume this is how school fairs usually end."

It's a terrible joke, but the adrenaline and relief make her laugh anyway, wiping her sword carefully before sheathing it. Whatever was in that thing's blood, she doesn't want it anywhere near her.

"We should get back," is all she says, but privately she thinks maybe she was right in the beginning: Maybe school isn't so bad, after all.

-

They meet the others just outside, Cassie in the lead, Gar doing an impression of the basilisk that's a little too realistic for Rose to want to deal with right now. (Well, except for the part where he's bright green.) Bart rushes up to them, whooshes around them like he's checking to see that they're still in one piece, and then away again; when he reappears, he's sitting on the nearby merry-go-round, stuffing something in his mouth.

"Did you get it?" Cassie asks, and Rose raises an eyebrow. Straight to the point.

"We got it," she says. "And we're fine."

"Not made of stone?" Bart asks. Or at least, that's what Rose thinks he says; it's a little difficult to tell with his mouth full.

"Still flesh and blood," Kon says. And then, "Are you eating cupcakes?"

Bart swallows. "No?"

"Wait," Cassie says. "I saw those cupcakes. Those belong to the school."

"Belonged to the school," Bart corrects. "I doubt they're gonna miss them. Besides, I'm doing them a favour. There was a great big hole in the wall, anybody could have just walked past and taken them."

"So you ... walked past and took them?" Gar asks.

Bart shakes his head. "I ran."

Kon's face is all scrunched up, and for a minute Rose thinks he's going to do the whole Superman thing again, tell Bart off for looting. And then he shrugs, and says, "Are there any left for the rest of us?"

"That's almost definitely possible," Bart says, holding one out. Kon lunges for it, and Rose thinks that eating a stolen cupcake is probably the most deviant thing she's ever seen him do.

It's making her downright hungry.

"Better be more than that," she says, shouldering him aside, and takes one of the few remaining cupcakes form the plate. They smelled a little singed, like overloaded circuit breakers, and she's pretty sure hers is even a little wet (and that's just great, like, of course they probably also burnt down the gym in addition to trashing the quad and absolutely demolishing the fair), but it still tastes good. Great, even.

So, yeah. School's really not that bad, after all. 

(Not that they're ever, ever letting her anywhere near this one again.)


End file.
